Haiku Humor

haiku-91-no-machine-subtle-enough

~

Someday

I want to write

a sixteen-syllable

Haiku

about the death

and disappearance of

a monosyllabic

word.

Jarod Kintz,
This Book is Not FOR SALE


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Punctuation Fixation

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “By the Dots.” We all have strange relationships with punctuation —  Tell us all about your punctuation quirks!

Diagram

I am a comma freak
I readily admit it
Not sure how I got this way
Maybe the nuns did it

Sentence diagrams
Graced the blackboards
In each and every class
Subliminal imprints
Guaranteed to last

Why I fixate only on commas
Is a puzzlement to me
My sister from the same school
Fixates on all punctuation
Equally
.

.

I have spent most of the day putting in a comma
and the rest of the day taking it out.
— Oscar Wilde

.

From The Top ~ Three Times A Story

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “From the Top.” If you had the chance to be reborn, would you choose to return as your present self, or would opt for a fresh start? 

Transition[1]

three times
she was
 faced with a choice
to go forward with her
life and complete it
or let go of this life,
be reborn, and
start over

three times
she did not believe
herself strong enough
to
endure the dark nights
of pain engulfing 

her life

three times
she made a choice,
a conscious decision
to
go forward with this
life, even so 

three times
it did not matter what
she chose, it only mattered
that
she chose

it was
in her choosing
that she found her
strength

Artist: Karen Haughey, Angel Art

First Crush ~ The Crusher and The Crushee

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “First Crush.” Who was your first childhood crush?

 ~

Picture 2

(This is my true story, including character’s name and physical description.)

It was in kindergarten,
his name was
Umberto

His hair was jet black, slick,
straight and thick, as
were his perfect
eyebrows 

His skin was smooth
with a slight sheen,
the color of rich,
fresh cream 

He was quiet, never rowdy
like the other boys; only
spoke if questioned
by the teacher

I began to notice that he
was always nearby, no
matter where I was,
there he was,
but not in a
bad way
it felt
okay

One day, he came right up
next to me and spoke, in
a voice that matched
the color of his
creamy
skin 

“I have something for you.”
he took my hand and
placed a fifty-cent
piece in the
center of my palm,
he giggled, then I giggled
and the deal was
sealed

We giggled together all
the way to the end of the
school year, when he
moved away and I
never saw him
again

I can open my palm today
and see a fifty-cent piece,
exactly as it was placed
on my hand so long
ago by
Umberto

Sometimes
I think
I hear the
giggling of two
five-year olds
playing
in the
yard

methinks
my thinking
is wishful

~

Red Pill, Blue Pill – I Prefer Masticating

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Red Pill, Blue Pill.” If you could get all the nutrition you needed in a day with a pill — no worrying about what to eat, no food preparation — would you do it?

eat-722390_1280

life without mastication

defies contemplation

munching, crunching, 

chewing, chomping

bite, grind

nibble or gnaw

stimulate the juices

work that jaw

smell it, taste it

feel the texture 

pleasure growing

measure for measure

finally

here it comes 

the ultimate prize

that sublimely

succulent

swallow
~

or     take     a     pill

~

Nothin’ But A Good Time ~ ANTICIPATION

Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Nothin’ But A Good Time.”  You get the day all to yourself, to do anything you please. What types of fun activities would make your day?
~

ANTICIPATION
send wake-up note
with one yellow rose
get full deluxe spa treatment
~

ANTICIPATION
send after-lunch note
with one orange rose
take dreamy nap
~

ANTICIPATION
send before-dinner note
with one deep red rose
have FUN getting ready
~

A N T I C I P A T I O N

wine, dine, candle light

in each other we delight

joyous love tonight

Do_Not_Distrub

~

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/

Sweeping Motions – You Asked, I Delivered

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt:“Sweeping Motions.” What’s messier right now? Tell us how and why it got to that state.

fainting_couch1

Her computer’s desktop:

perfectly spaced icons all in a row

folders filled with cluttered files

of what, she does not know

so, how and why

did it get to this state?

something to do with mama

and potty training trauma

with white diapers, perfectly clean

and mommy being awfully mean

when they overflowed with

a big bad smelly mess

childhood distress

anger repressed

so now she defies 

that maternal image

with perfect folders on the

outside and dirty, dirty, dirty

on the inside

and …

oh, dear … please excuse me

Doctor Freud has arrived 

for my daily couch

session

ta-ta for now .  .  .

~

 

 

Through the Window – My Favorite View Living by the Ocean

The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Through the Window.”

ls
view
from my picture window

in the background
waves, wetsuits
men, men, men
with their
boards, boards, boards

in the foreground
Pacific Coast Highway
trucks parked/surf gear

sunrise to sunset
wetsuits on
wetsuits off
wetsuits on
wetsuits off 

and moi?
very close
above it all

comfy couch
glass of wine
clean binoculars
😉
~~~

From Me to Me – My Realest Post Yet

Daily Post’s writing prompt: “From You to You.” Write a letter to your 14-year-old self.

girl-690327__180girl-690327__180girl-690327__180

My dear sweet 14-year-old self,

You are precious. I know you don’t know this or feel it in your heart, but it is the truth. In fact, you don’t even understand what this means. Please know that your parents love you in the only way they know, which means little physical contact and only rare compliments, lest you develop a “swelled head.”

What you are going through right now, no one should have to go through, least of all a fourteen year old girl who has just started to blossom. I see how you’ve withdrawn into that walking body cast that you must wear until your spine gets fixed, and no one knows how long that will be. Could be months or years.

All you know is that one day everything was great, you were finally a teenager and the boys were all looking cute, and the next day it all stopped. And now everything feels bad, or worse than bad. 

I want you to know that I see how awkward and freakish you feel.  You can’t wear “regular” clothes or participate in most school activities. You always feel embarrassed about how you look.  And you are profoundly sad and lonely, neither of which are being addressed by anyone, including you.

I say all this, not to make you feel sorry for yourself, although some of that is perfectly normal. I simply want to validate your reality and speak it out loud.

If I could, I would give you the biggest, warmest hug all the way around that stupid old cast. I would look into your eyes and tell you what a magnificent human being you are, as well as an adorably cute and feisty young lady! 

I would drag you out to see a movie and get root beer floats at Merkle’s drug store and go watch the ducks in the pond at central park.

Most of all, my kind and brilliant 14-year-old self, I would make you laugh again, as much for me to hear it, as for you to feel it.

girl-690327__180

Style Icon – Know Thyself!

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt:“Style Icon.”Describe your personal style, however you’d like to interpret that — your clothing style, your communication style, your hair style, your eating style, anything.

~

 photo-1431960597062-782cc5782030 Aaron Burden

when your outer

accoutrements

are congruent with

your true inner self

voila!

you’ve got style

simple, no?

 ~

ah … the “true” part

yes, that can be 

a little tricky

——–

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/style-icon/

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/style-icon/

Isn’t Your Face Red – The Fool Answers

The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Isn’t Your Face Red.” When was the last time you were embarrassed? How do you react to embarrassment?

fool-140229_1280

The Fool:

ancient archetype

of truth-telling 

across cultures

nonsensical, outrageous

in words, behavior

and dress

obscuring

a deeply perceptive

nature

and sage-like

wisdom  

speaking

the unspeakable

truths

his gift to humanity

without shame 

without guilt,

embarrassment

not in his

vocabulary

 

Well, I Never – Oh, But You Never Know . . .

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Well, I Never….”

tumblr_n61rklNukt1qfirfao1_1280[1]

I used up all my “nevers” on my kids

so they’d live to be adults

and they did
 ~

now I’m never-less 

which is entirely okay

as I prefer to explore my options

without “nevers” in the way
~

recently I found a brand new “never”

that I’m using quite lot

it comes with open possibilities:

You Never Know” . . . dot    dot    dot”
~

the thing with these three words

is they speak in honesty

as we can’t ever

truly know

can we

~

Finite Creature Fantasy (with a smidgen of eros)

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Finite Creatures.”

wake up

At what age did you realize you were not immortal?

Let’s see, I think it was sometime in August of whatever year my baby sister was born, because she was born on July 27th and she was about three weeks old when she told me all about how everything works and what’s going to happen and how I shouldn’t worry about any of it because none of it hurts and there’s lotsa kids to play with and Grandma Gloria is there and you can see everything that’s happening with mortals but you can’t really do anything about it because mortals have to learn their own lessons by going through them …  but there was one important thing she wanted to tell me about because it’s something I could look forward to when I don’t have a body anymore and I’m gonna find out anyway, so . . .  she said you know how when a man and lady love each other and pleasure themselves together with their mortal bodies and try to get as close to each other and inside each other as much as they can, well … when you don’t have a body anymore, your spiritual selves do it by merging with each other … they go right inside each other and it’s a thousand times more pleasing than trying to do it with mortal bodies, she hadn’t tried it but she said she was going to … so I gotta stop now – I’m hungry and I need a cuddle . . .  

The question was, at what age did you realize you were not immortal?

Oh, sorry … I really don’t remember . . .

Hard Deadlines and All-Nighters

The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “The Heat is On” Does your best stuff surface as the deadline approaches? Sometimes.

GG 4 DSC_0020

In Nursing College, when I was finishing up my Psychiatry Rotation, the final assignment was to create an all-inclusive Nursing Care Plan for a hypothetical patient with a two week hospital stay. That’s 14 days of detailed hour by hour documentation.

I had a few basic ideas afloat in my consciousness when I sat down at my desk around 11 pm. The project was due the next morning. I won’t pretend that this was an easy task and I whipped right through it. It was not and I did not. I worked diligently for four to five hours, snuck in a couple of hours sleep, then did a one hour final edit for typos, errors and last minute changes in the morning. I was happy with it. Not thrilled, but happy. I would get a decent grade. Whew!

I scored an A+. What? Yes, I was delighted with the grade, considering the amount of time I spent. But an A+? Maybe the professor was a little too “relaxed” when she did the scoring. Maybe it was sheer luck. Divine intervention. Did I get away with something?

A few days later, that question was answered by the professor herself when she called me into her office. She had met with the Hospital’s Nursing Care Plan Committee, comprised of the Director of Nurses, College Nursing Professors and others. Unbeknownst to me, my nursing care plan was presented to the committee.

She wanted to tell me that it was chosen by the committee as the college’s exemplar of Student Nursing Care Plans, to be presented at a conference in San Francisco the following month. If this was okay with me, would I please sign the permission form. I did.

There it was. My first brush with an all-nighter to meet a hard deadline. It turned out quite well. I never told my fellow student nurses about the “exemplar” designation. No need. And I disciplined myself to spend very little time in the valley of guilt for scoring such an “Easy A”.

~