I Have No Excuse

Short Story, Shirt Story, Limerick

~ veracitymama ~ 9 Comments

DAILY PROMPT: “ZIP”
It’s a bit bawdy as Limericks should be
I do hope it gives you a chuckle
or three!

125H

A virile young man wished to flirt
So he put on his “sensitive” shirt
It was soft pale pink
Which caused him to think
That he’d surely get under her skirt

He had the looks, the moves and the means
To finesse his seduction routines
But he felt like swearing
When he saw her wearing
Not a skirt, but some skinny tight jeans

He devised a new plan in his head
With charm he would delicately tread
He was good with zippers
But afraid he might rip hers
So he unzipped himself instead

Is this foreplay? she asked with disdain
Dripping sarcasm she could not contain
A silly pink shirt
Can’t hide such a jerk
From you I shall gladly abstain

He zipped up and planned his next move
To hone skills so his chances improve
Maybe switch to pale blue
Or self-touching eschew
To quickly get back in his groove

If the point of this story is unclear
Here’s a rule you may wish to adhere
If you’re tempted to flirt
With a pastel shirt
Resist it and just let him leer

THE END  (of a chance to score)

 

  The Daily Post

https://veracitymama.wordpress.com/2017/04/24/short-story-shirt-story-limerick/

A Short Tale Loosely Based on a Short Tale

~ veracitymama ~ 3 Comments

My humble attempt at satirical relief from the current events of life:

trajemperador0003

The emperor has no clothes
As all can plainly see
Save those who downed the Kool-aid
Laced with party tea

He speaks in raucous riddles
Stokes fires of fear and rage
Deepening the great divide
Turning the next page

We’re surely being hoodwinked
On this I’ll place my bet
Hang on to the crazy train
This  ride’s not over yet
.

Google Images
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Emperor%27s_New_Clothes

Hunky Bunny’s Excellent Tale

~ veracitymama ~ 3 Comments

bunny-man cropped     

MEN’S HAUTE-COUTURE
INTERNATIONAL SPRING COLLECTION

The biggest break of his career.
What could go wrong?
What could go right?

WHAT COULD GO WRONG?
Modeling the rabbit ears was less than a thrill
Still he sauntered onstage with his trademark chill
The runway appeared much longer than he thought
His head mask was pinching tighter than it ought
A scratch in his throat turned wildly itchy
His lips-a-swelling began to get twitchy
Wheezing in his lungs, breaths shallow and craggy
His well-toned legs, wet-noodled and draggy
He finally collapsed at runway’s conclusion
Dragged off with great haste
in head-bouncing
confusion

WHAT COULD GO RIGHT?
Hunky Bunny strode proud and tall
Hunky Bunny had a great fall
Allergic to wool, they ripped off his attire
Giving the critics that much more
To admire

(Alternate Ending #1)
He survived his near death
And met fame the next morning
She showed up at dawn
With no hint of a warning
She moved herself in
With her entourage of spin
Book deals, photographs
Interviews galore
He slid under the covers
Give me ten minutes more

(Alternate Ending #2)
He survived the ordeal
And followed fate’s call
International Super Model
Beloved hero to all
The critics still love him
Worldwide fan base does too
He never stopped dreaming
Nor should
you

*With a grateful nod to
Humpty Dumpty 

Thanks to TBP for this oldie and goodie picture prompt!  The Blog Propellanttpb_logo_link

 

Playing Haiku With Shadows

~ veracitymama ~ Leave a comment

shadow

shadows taunt elders
cruel reminders of what was
they’re not having it

shadows haunt elders
sad reminders of what was
they’re not having it

shadows flaunt elders
fun reminders of what was
they’re not having it

this image is sad
please, no happy spin today
let’s let sad be sad

Ginger Rogers and
Fred Astair, look at them there
still shadow dancing

they walked, talked and balked
then went their separate ways
shadows still dancing

.

 

THE GIANT SEE-THROUGH HANDS

~ veracitymama ~ 8 Comments

jerry-uelsmann

All she ever wanted
was a private reading with the
GIANT SEE-THROUGH HANDS

For this prize, she paid dearly with money she did not have. She traveled
great distances, including thirteen unforgiving hours riding the dirt cheap,
and notoriously lacking in janitorial services, Starlight Express. 

Finally, there she was, ankle deep in clouds, standing on the huge palms
of the GIANT SEE-THROUGH HANDS. Staring at a big house with a little
door, listening to the bump and grind of the cloud machine, burping
up new clouds as the old ones dissipated. Her knees mushy, her heart
fluttering wildly in her chest, she was “beside herself,” in the thrall of
witnessing her dream transform into reality. 

The little door opened. She could see nothing inside.
A man’s voice spoke as through a microphone.
It sounded strong and exacting.

“Greetings.
I shall get straight to the point. You are familiar with the saying, to have
someone in the palm of your hand. Meaning they have power over you,
they can manipulate you into doing what they want you to do. I now have
you in the palm of my hand. This is the position in which you have placed
yourself. You traveled all this way, exhausting your meager financial
resources, putting yourself deeply in debt … For What? To ask questions
of me that you already know the answers to, even though you don’t
believe you do?”

“My gift to you today is to NOT give you answers. My gift to you today is to allow you to access your own truest answers from within, rather than seeking them from outside yourself. How do you do this? By living your life and paying attention! And your gift to yourself will be to find out who you really are … under your own power.”

“My prediction is that you will receive a substantial refund in the immediate future. As you leave, my attendant will hand you an envelope containing full reimbursement for the cost of this session, and the cost of your return trip. This, contingent on your promise to upgrade from that nasty Starlight Express, as there is a significant chance of contracting something undesirable if you use the restrooms
or eat their prepared food.”

“You have
been warned by
the GIANT SEE-THROUGH HANDS.”

.

TBP Thur Picture Prompt #33: Great Distances
Include the phrase, “great distances,” and/or the word “starlight” in your post.

tpb_logo_link

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https://theblogpropellant.wordpress.com/2015/10/15/thur-picture-prompt-33-great-distances/